idk whos got who trained best my cat has me trained or i have my cat trained 

sleep is for the weak

and i will never rest

til i get my fall out boy preorder thing

i wish i could google where to find things in my house

“where is a deck of cards”

“where did i put my glasses”

rent a swag

i feel really tired and when i’m really tired i’m really lonely lemme just cuddle and fall asleep in arms okay

i’m pretty sure i just heard the tardis outside

because you know

why else does anyone go to florida

disney world duh

i feel like when i like a cute guys post about them wanting a ~girl~ or whatever it’s like i’m sending them a subliminal message that i volunteer to be that girl

communistsextips:

“Sometimes sex can wait until after the revolution, however in this case sexy, it can’t.”

bonaventure-:

i can never go to russia because ill be seduced as soon as anyone says one word to me. someone will be like “hey” and ill just faint to the floor and roll around like a child with fun dip. whisper to me ancient melodies and far off songs, mysterious temptresses of the snow. slay me with ur words. i say whimpering on the ground of a busy st. petersburg street. there is a crowd backed up behind me. people are angry. someone speaks to me i cower away in awe. what is that. what did you say to me. because all i heard was beauty